I dream of robots

My Christmas consisted of She Ra and I hanging out all day with my friends cat. We watched Lost season 5, read comics, ate and walked around the neighborhood. After such a long, arduous day I dozed off relatively early. Around 6 am I somewhat wake from a dream where me and my robot friend are running though a town destroying things with our laser eyes... except it takes a few blast and whoever actually destroys it gets the points. Perspective was mostly 3rd person, but still had the impression I was the robot. Normally I would associate this random sort of dream with a video game or movie..... wait a sec.... Gigantic! It's the only thing I've seen/read [which what you do with a comic] remotely robotic. Or I'm just crazy.

There is no home

I'm in a house

unknown to the child

within.

The garage has

boxes,

containers.

My childhood.

Toys

blankies

my first dogs.

The stuffed variety.

The house I knew.

Bulldozed.

Paved over.

A new Mormon church.

The irony

doesn't escape me.

The field ,

the tree line,

my dogs and I

wandered.

Countless

imaginary adventures.

The solace of

solo childhood.

A road.

A subdivision.

A pre-manufactured

facsimile.

A whole town

fat and bloated.

Cancerous growth

across the desert.

Everything changes.

Except man's sloth,

greed,

need,

at an ever-growing

speed.

To the edge

of the canyon.

Over the sustainable

limit.

Of rationality.

Obvious answers

abound.

Yet we still demand,

more for less.

Not accounting.

True costs.

To be paid.

Eventually.

All comes around.

A snake eating its tail.

Our plastics

choke baby seals.

Hold our food.

Depletes our supply.

Causes melanomas.

Thank you Mr DuPont.

Environmentalist rant.

Brought on by a lack of place.

People wonder,

why I wander.

I'm just looking for home.

Instead of a storage unit.

Or is that precisely what I want?

Is it where the heart is?

Where my dog is?

Are they the same.

Could it be her?

Or is that better reason to go?

I feel bad.

Smiling and nodding.

The good boyfriend.

While I cruise away,

in my mind,

the eventual trek.

Always solo.

Inner,

outer,

exploration.

In a few short weeks,

from a small world,

the stratosphere,

a warm cozy place,

thinking I was going to die,

breathless,

broken,

cold.

Could be worse.

Death in a cubicle,

florescent poisoning.

Paper cut to death.

Better malaria,

snake bit,

hi-jacked by bandits.

Better stories to tell,

than years of

monotony.

Blue Spiral of.....?

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/worldnews/article-1234430/Mystery-spiral-blue-light-display-hovers-Norway.html

One of my co-workers told me about this and it's been blowing my mind all day. My mind initially jumps to the more bizarre sort of explanation and scoffs at the idea of a Russian fired rocket. More than anything I wish I could have seen it myself.

The weeks before I started college my dad and I went to Alaska fishing on Kodiak island. It was my first time I more than anything I wanted to see some big ass Kodiak bears and the Northern Lights. Ended up seeing neither. One "night" I stayed up in vain in the hot tub after everyone else had retired. Later I found out the Aurora Borealis is a winter phenomenon.

The stars were amazing.

After I got back South and had settled in to Moscow and all that involved I did get to experience multiple light shows that winter. No bears though.

Los Angeles

A short trip.
Intentions on laying some groundwork.
Checking out the scene.
Seeing friends.
Most flaked,
but there is always next time.
Monday night-
Bridget [not the midget],
Crown Royal straight.
Needed my medicine.
Ribs and cramped airline seats.
More medicine.
Spaceland and Frank Black secret show.
Too bad I'm beyond gone.
Fade to black,
but make it back.
Shivering on stairs in 50 degrees.
Wake up to too bright sunshine.
Mind mush.
Cousin and I make our way out into the world.
Chelsea Lately taping.
Forgot what a bitch LA traffic is.
Laughter cures all...
except ribs apparently.
Willie Nelson rocked classics.
Long day took its toll.
Wednesday-
First Porche ride.
First Phillipes sandwich,
amazing mustard!
Sea shells by Seal Beach shore.
Disneyland adventure.
20+ years late and not impressed.
Real thing is much better.
Random act of kindness brings me back to LA.
Thursday-
Bike around,
picture of sweet tags and murals,
acupuncture,
Melrose,
DT art walk.
Massage school sweetheart,
whisks me away to my flight.
Looking forward to my dog.
Not to work.

A kick in the teeth

Now I know the true price of love.
Pain.
All is fine in the moment.
Lost in the bliss of a kiss
a longing caress.
Then it ends,
for valid or stupid reasons.
Happiness.
Sadness.
Longing.
Freedom.
Realization you can't have it back.
My ego finds it hard to believe
they can find another.
My self loathing is surprised it didn't happen during.
I know I have my faults.
I hope I have some strengths.
At 2 am I am just tired of it all.
Would life be easier without feeling.
Is that the definition of death.
Tomorrow a celebration of love.
Will a pill emulate it?
Or push it further away.
When will I get my head right?

Returning Home?

Back at my dads before heading to Stanley for a good friends [Eric Thurmond] wedding.
[BTW I think I will try to write Cormac McCarthey style with minimum punctuation and very stream of conscious].
Made the trip to Boise with a CL rideshare. Lisa and her dog magic whose hair will be a pain to get rid of.
Saw old and new friends in Boise. Altered my original plan to stay Wed night for the bachelor party. Woke with a trobbing headache which could have been the beer whiskey or the smoke or all of the above. Got new shoes for my truck. Heading home to hang with my mom and Twin Falls people I could get ahold of.
Today I rallied around with my dad. Watched as he stiched up a horses face. Irrigated. Did things around the ranch. Ate some amazing chili relanos. Then introduced my stepmom Mary to the joy of the Seattle Public Library.
Tommorrow up to Sun Valley and Stanley for what will be a great wedding for good people. Hopefully there will be hot spring action and love in the air!