A kick in the teeth

Now I know the true price of love.
Pain.
All is fine in the moment.
Lost in the bliss of a kiss
a longing caress.
Then it ends,
for valid or stupid reasons.
Happiness.
Sadness.
Longing.
Freedom.
Realization you can't have it back.
My ego finds it hard to believe
they can find another.
My self loathing is surprised it didn't happen during.
I know I have my faults.
I hope I have some strengths.
At 2 am I am just tired of it all.
Would life be easier without feeling.
Is that the definition of death.
Tomorrow a celebration of love.
Will a pill emulate it?
Or push it further away.
When will I get my head right?