Saturday, August 29, 2009

A kick in the teeth

Now I know the true price of love.
Pain.
All is fine in the moment.
Lost in the bliss of a kiss
a longing caress.
Then it ends,
for valid or stupid reasons.
Happiness.
Sadness.
Longing.
Freedom.
Realization you can't have it back.
My ego finds it hard to believe
they can find another.
My self loathing is surprised it didn't happen during.
I know I have my faults.
I hope I have some strengths.
At 2 am I am just tired of it all.
Would life be easier without feeling.
Is that the definition of death.
Tomorrow a celebration of love.
Will a pill emulate it?
Or push it further away.
When will I get my head right?

Friday, August 28, 2009

Returning Home?

Back at my dads before heading to Stanley for a good friends [Eric Thurmond] wedding.
[BTW I think I will try to write Cormac McCarthey style with minimum punctuation and very stream of conscious].
Made the trip to Boise with a CL rideshare. Lisa and her dog magic whose hair will be a pain to get rid of.
Saw old and new friends in Boise. Altered my original plan to stay Wed night for the bachelor party. Woke with a trobbing headache which could have been the beer whiskey or the smoke or all of the above. Got new shoes for my truck. Heading home to hang with my mom and Twin Falls people I could get ahold of.
Today I rallied around with my dad. Watched as he stiched up a horses face. Irrigated. Did things around the ranch. Ate some amazing chili relanos. Then introduced my stepmom Mary to the joy of the Seattle Public Library.
Tommorrow up to Sun Valley and Stanley for what will be a great wedding for good people. Hopefully there will be hot spring action and love in the air!