I have a vision.
It isn't in a city,
there isn't a membership,
beyond those of a rich lifestyle.
I come across another retreat.
So exclusive,
you can't even apply online.
resumes are only accepting
on the rarest of parchment,
written in gold and saint blood.
I've always been a dreamer.
Envisioning myself places.
Either I've never made it,
or reality always falls short.
I know I am not proactive enough.
The hardest part of the journey is the beginning.
I think of giving up altogether.
Resigning to my normalcy.
I am not special.
I do not deserve to life I want.
Suck it up.
Work a job.
Pay the bills.
Die.
More often I just want to skip to step four.
What holds back the knife,
the gun,
the pills,
the ledge?
Connections?
The sadness such a selfish acts brings.
Because we all live in shit.
My ancestors suffered far worse.
Ambitions we simple,
a plot of land,
a fire to warm the bones,
a plate of food to fill the stomach.
Or is it the possibilities?
The adventures.
The road yet to travel.
A combination of the two.
Yet people also hold me back.
She-Ra holds me back.
So I think.
Or is it just another excuse,
something to blame,
other than my apathy.
I just found you can apply.
No blank forms,
just an email address.
An opportunity to set myself apart.
No gold type needed.
Just data and Easterday charm.
Saturday, January 23, 2010
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